Atop

Atop the mountain, looking upon the great city laid out before me, I felt as though I was on top of the whole world.

It had taken quite the walk to get up to the top of this mountain, but it was all worth it for the view… I suppose. This view, or rather the feeling I got from the view, would leave me soon after I went back down. I would still have the memory of it, yes, but it would just be an unfeeling snapshot in time; I know of the exhilaration  I had felt in this moment, but I would not be able to reach it again only by seeing the picture in my mind’s eye.

That’s not the way that memories worked, or at least for me. I had memories, and I know how they felt in that moment, and they may bring that feeling back to me, but they are not the same thing. I could never experience this moment again, at least not in the same way. If I came back here again, it would be a nostalgic experience, but not the same as this first time.

Since I was so aware of my feeling of being on top of the world, I wanted to make it last as long as possible. But I knew that I could not stay up here forever; even if I did, the feeling would wear off due to the familiarity of the view, the fact that I had seen it every day and it had simply just become part of my world. At that point, it would lose all novelty and would have no meaning such as this anymore.

So, it was a lost cause to hope that I could ever feel this exact feeling again, either by coming back or by re-experiencing it through my memory. It was all I could do to just savor it for now, and leave as soon as the sun went down.

It would soon be over no matter what I did.

via Photo Challenge: Atop

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